A Personal Reflection from our 10/7 Commemoration

by Esther Tirat-Gefen, class of 2027

On an overcast Monday evening, as the sun dipped behind the autumn-kissed treetops and historic brick buildings, over 300 students, faculty, and community members gathered at the edge of the University of Delaware Green. Under the gray sky, onlookers listened as poems, prayers, and heartfelt speeches honored victims of October 7th.

Maya Taylor, a UD student and President of Blue Hens for Israel, remembered her cousin Ittai, who was killed in combat while freeing hostages from a kibbutz on that fateful day. Her voice shook as she reflected on his lost potential. “Ittai was destined for greatness,” she said. But, “this year, instead of celebrating Ittai’s 23rd birthday… We lit 22 birthday candles at his grave.” 

Hava, another student and Hillel’s President of the Student Leadership Council, spoke about her friend Omer, an IDF soldier who was taken hostage after being stationed at the border on October 7th. She described his empathy and warm presence, noting how he had a “remarkable ability to make you feel like you were the most important person in the room.”

The ceremony concluded with a poignant candle lighting, inviting quiet reflection. As the candlelight spread from one person to the next, Donna Schwartz, the Executive Director of Hillel at UD softly addressed the crowd: “Think of a prayer… of a hostage… of something that has happened this year… And when you are ready to blow out the candle, please do so.” The silence was almost eerie, yet peaceful, a stillness that wove the community together.

After the event, I spoke with Maya about what she hoped the audience would take away from her speech. “That’s a hard question,” she admitted, pausing to gather her thoughts. After a moment, she expressed her desire for people to grasp the impact of the loss. “Everybody knows somebody, or knows somebody who knows somebody, who has been affected by this, who has lost someone,” she told me.

However, through the shared grief, I found resilience and solidarity. Felisha Alderson, CEO of Kutz Senior Living Campus and a local who moved to Wilmington in 1999, highlighted the unwavering support within Delaware’s Jewish community. “We’re all [in this] together, no questions asked,” she asserted. 

Michelle Rosner, a junior at UD and the Freshman Engagement Intern at Hillel, told me how she encouraged her freshman cohort to come. “This is an experience that we’re all going to have together,” she said. “A lot of people feel feelings of grief and sadness, and it’s okay.”

Caryl Marcus-Stape, Chair of the Board of the Jewish Federation of Delaware, echoed this sentiment in her speech: “We grow together as one.” And Donna Schwartz reminded the crowd, “Take a look around; we are not alone. There are close to 300 of you here tonight.”

Rabbi Jeremy Weisblatt, Campus Director of Hillel at UD, described this hopeful spirit to me after the ceremony, explaining,  “We have an important value as Jews that whenever we have a moment of joy, we also remember there's sadness. On the other hand, in the moments of greatest sorrow, we have the ability to find joy. That’s what tonight is about.”

Building on this message, I spoke with Maya about how we can channel our emotions into meaningful action. She expressed her commitment to giving back, stating, “I personally have donated to FIDF.” Additionally, she highlighted an initiative at Hillel, describing how they made “Blue Hens for Israel“ sweatshirts, with all proceeds going to the IDF in memory of her cousin.

Michelle echoed this attitude by expressing the importance of empowering her freshmen. “I want them to be like ‘Wow, I want to plan something like that when I’m a senior,’” she told me. “I want them to feel like they have the power to do that because I know that every single one of them does.” 

During this gathering, I saw the power of community and hope, even in the face of intense grief. Like Rabbi Jeremy told me: “We are still here... We’re still strong as a people. We haven’t fractured even when we might have severe disagreements.” 

“And I think that is a beautiful part of what it means to be Jewish.”

Esther Tirat-Gefen is a sophomore at the University of Delaware, majoring in Mathematics with a minor in Piano Performance. She is passionate about developing her analytical skills while balancing a diverse range of interests, including writing and photography.